How To Be More Manly (Time To Rise Up!)
When we think of being manly it is common to think of statuses, such as job headachy, wealth, and physical image that can make us feel defeated before we even start. This can destroy the ego and make us feel inferior. However, these traits are modern ideas of what it is to be manly, and misconceptions of what a true man actually is.
It is important to have a set of values that are practiced daily, projecting a positive influence on those around you. There are things that you can start working on right away and incorporate into your daily routine to help you to feel more manly and sure of yourself in any given situation.
It starts in the mind and taking control of your life, assertive with your actions, and sure of yourself. It is not an easy thing to work on, and it certainly requires time and dedication.
When do we Become a Man?
By definition in the Western World, we turn from a boy to a man at 18 years of age. The problem here is that this is just a number and there are no specific responsibilities that are thrown at us at 18 to clarify we are now men. In truth, the measurement of being a man cannot be defined by age, but rather a continuous learning experience.
Various cultures have different ideas on what it is to be a man, but the common theme is to suffer through something in order to grow as a person.
For example, the rite of passage to becoming a man for the indigenous Sateré-Mawé boys from Brazil is no easy one. Boys as young as 12 have to collect bullet ants to make a bullet ant glove. The sting of a bullet ant is the most painful in the insect world and is 30 times more painful than that of a wasp. They must keep the glove on for 10 minutes, absorbing the agonizing pain without making a sound. After this, they take a step towards becoming a true man (it is repeated 10 times).
There are many other cultures that believe that the rise to manhood is no easy path, and only through true tests which make us search deep within our core self can we touch the outer shell of what is to be a man.
The Western world is diverse and lacks specific rules which other cultures use to celebrate the turning of a boy into a man. However, although not as clearly defined as other cultures, whatever problems that are being faced are your 'rite of passage' and are what need to be worked on to become the man you want to be.
The Downhill Path to Avoid
Most men in today's society will not understand that to become a man is a deeply personal investigation within oneself, finding your weaknesses, understanding the causes, and finding solutions. It is all too easy to get lost in the misconceptions of being a man in modern society.
For example, trying to outdrink your friends on a regular basis, having the most sexual partners, winning arguments through a raised voice, refusing to have an open mind, and considering other opinions. THIS IS NOT A MAN, but rather somebody lost within their own ego, begging to be accepted and is never satisfied, always remaining on edge.
Trying to look and act 'manly' will only harm oneself in the long run. Actions with bad intentions will not bring true light to anyone. Things like hiding dark secrets that will later impact your loved ones, or taking unnecessary actions before thinking them through. All of these things do not define a man, but rather somebody who is set up to fail at being one.
What Makes a Man Manly?
There are many aspects which we can work on to become more manly. However, it is the mindset we have that is the building block for this.
If you are in control of the path and direction you take and have the power to change key aspects about yourself, then this will have a knock-on effect of feeling and looking great, and being respected and cared for. In other words, you already have the necessary components to help you to be more manly. Some traits discussed in this article define the strength of character, including assertiveness, confidence, endurance, courage, determination, and qualities such as self-reliance and leadership.
Very few of us achieve everything mentioned here, but working on one thing can have a knock-on effect on other things that you can work on.
Let's take a look at some of the things that can help to achieve being more manly in modern society.
Listen to Your Inner Voice (Assertiveness and Confidence)
The ability to listen to our inner voice and speak up for what we believe in, but in a way that still gains the respect of others is an important part of valuing ourselves and those around us.
One of the first steps to take to become more manly is to stop constantly putting the needs of others first. By this, I do not mean to stop helping your girlfriend carry the shopping into the house from the car because you are playing your PS5 and busy shouting down the headset, as this is when to put her needs first.
But rather I mean that, as an example, if you are a selfless individual who likes to please everyone, say yes to everything they need, or do things you don't want to do in hope of being liked, then this needs to stop, as these are not a manly trait.
We have an inner voice that knows right from wrong, inherently understanding when you are either giving too much or not giving enough. We experience this all throughout the day, and by using your inner voice as your guide then you are being assertive and valuing yourself.
First Impressions Count (Confidence)
First impressions count. Within a small moment, the effect you have on people can change their outlook on you, which is usually long-lasting. This is called the 'primacy effect' and basically means that how you present yourself on a first encounter will be remembered more so than in the middle of the encounter.
For example, having a limp handshake gives off a passive vibe and makes you seem to lack a certain power, which can lead to a lack of initial respect. The same things apply to the subtle details you present about yourself, and if you do not have these in good order you will be devalued.
Everything counts, from your image, the way you carry yourself, body language, which can greatly determine your level of influence over somebody, and the credibility you receive from others.
To put things simply, if things are not aiding you in a positive way then they are something that needs to change. The person you are now and the person you want to be perceived as will take time and effort, but through effort, you will be greatly rewarded.
So let's look at some of the things which count.
The Way You Dress and Groom Yourself (Presentation and Confidence)
Yes, you may have not been blessed with the physical features you desire, but always remember that you are in control of how you present yourself. Being manly doesn't mean that you get out of bed, forget to brush your teeth and shower, etc.
In fact, the way you dress and groom yourself can override other shortcomings that you have. Taking care of yourself goes a long way and is bound to help give off a positive first impression.
Shower in The Mornings
This has been shown to release stress, toxins, increase immunity, and promote good skin health. Don't forget to use deodorant! And for the evenings, well... are you taking the day to bed, or washing it off?
A simple daily skincare routine that will keep you looking fresh, without overdoing it.
Dress For Success
If you are going to the gym, then buy a nice gym outfit to fully immerse yourself in the experience. If you are going to work, buy a nice shirt. Any clothes have to fit your body well, or they will not be flattering for you.
Pushing Yourself to do Things (Endurance and Determination)
Focusing your attention on paying attention to something new will grow the power of persistence, showing that you can achieve what you put your mind to. Applying yourself takes dedication, and is never easy.
However, the energy used in applying yourself helps aid growth as a person. If we are successful at one thing that was a real effort, then another opportunity will naturally present itself as we develop new routines. If you apply this energy to all areas of your life then you can reinvent yourself, develop a strong mind and a positive outlook on life.
Some Ways to Challenge Yourself Include:
Change Your Daily Routine.
This is the first step to allowing yourself to do something new. Maybe it will be going to bed earlier and waking early to start on your new hobby before work, or exercising, etc.
Dedication to Physical Activity
Dedicate yourself to finding a physical activity that you enjoy. This doesn't need to be as strenuous as rock climbing (although it can be), but rather something that you have always wanted to do, but have never tried. If you really can't think of something then have a look at a list of sports or other activities and see which one takes your fancy!
Taking a Leap of Faith
We all have ideas in the back of our minds that would tax our brains, such as learning a new skill. The problem is that it takes a leap of faith to start them. The phrase JUST DO IT springs to mind with this one!
Get out there and up your game on every level you can!
Live Outside Your Comfort Zone (Courage and Determination)
The feeling I get when I overcome fear is one of the natural highs I live for, and like no other.
Whatever you fear, if you hold onto it then it will continue to grow, initiating an inner feeling of defeat. Facing your fears is no easy feat, which is why if you do face and conquer them it can be one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have on this earth, and long-lasting, as fear will fade away.
This can start as smaller things, which, for example, if you have social anxiety, can include meeting people in a social setting, talking to people more, starting a YouTube channel, and anything else that will push you into a world that is likely to cause distress, such as a fear of heights, that if conquered, would make you a stronger person. You know what your fears are - don't run from them!
Financial Security (Self Reliance)
Maybe you are lucky enough to tick this one off the list and can focus on other areas of being more manly. However, closely linked with pushing yourself, the path it takes to gain financial freedom is often a long, winding road.
Men need to feel they are grounded and can protect and provide for loved ones in times of need. There are few things that pain the mind like not having the financial security you desire.
We all have to start somewhere, and it is important to work up to the level that you can start saving money on a regular basis, which will allow you to take action when needed, and also to dream bigger and open your world to new opportunities. You can avoid debt this way, another crushing worry that many of us have experienced at one time or another. It also allows you to take calculated risks, and buy nice things for people on special occasions.
Creating a plan that you know you can stick to is a good way to start, and always aiming bigger and bigger is the way to think. Making budgets, creating automatic savings each month, and continually thinking of your next move to build a brighter and happier life for you and your loved ones are all parts of being a responsible man. Having a stable financial environment will make you feel accomplished and help you to build a positive self-image.
If you carry yourself with a straight posture then you will exude a confident vibe and this will change how manly you feel, and also affect your health in general. When you stand and walk tall you gain a presence that will naturally be noticed by others. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but nothing worth having comes overnight (unless you win the lottery), so keep at it!
There is no need to be excessive about it, but rather to straighten your back, walk with your head held high, and enjoy absorbing everything around you. A good posture can improve your mood, your breathing, help you to look taller, and can actually boost your energy levels.
Did you know that when you slouch your back muscles actually work harder? So by having a good posture you are doing yourself a favor in more ways than one.
Sitting also counts, and it is important to practice proper posture, especially if you have a desk job. Core strengthening exercises can really help you to maintain a good posture without excess strain and pain.
Hit The Gym
When a man first thinks of hitting the gym to feel more manly it is normal to picture a hulk-like character with a perfect V shape.
Of course, if you improve your physique you will feel like you look more manly, but there are many other proven benefits that exercise provides.
Physical activity releases testosterone, a hormone that is highly important to maintain health and wellbeing. Benefits include healthier semen and hormone levels, weight loss, muscle gain, bone health, and an overall sense of well-being (1).
It also helps improved blood flow and oxygen levels to the brain. This will have a knock-on effect on other things in your daily routine, such as your work, energy levels and general productivity throughout the day. It is best performed in the mornings to charge you up for the daily tasks ahead of you!
Exercise also helps us to socialize and to feel a sense of unity.
Act Like a Gentleman
A gentleman does nice things for others (not just women) and with a genuine intention behind them. They are not seeking recognition, but rather genuinely wanting people to feel respected. Feeling positive responses from your good intentions can increase mood, sense of control, and overall sense of wellbeing. Our actions circle back around and good deeds will help build positive relationships, and so on.
- Stay mindful of your language and who is close by
- Understand the difference between confidence and arrogance
- Value the opinions of others
Being a gentleman will help you grow and be respected as a man, and directly links to feeling more manly.
Other Things to Aid Your Quest to Manliness
We need to be in the right frame of mind for us to be productive. The same thing can be said about our bodies, which need the right fuel and rest to be able to fully feel the fire that burns to change in our lives.
Limit Alcohol Intake
If one of your plans is to dedicate yourself to a new hobby or whatever else it may take time and a lot of effort for the rewards it brings. It may feel good at the time, but if you miss that gym session you had planned in the morning, or haven't got the energy to write that blog post for your new website because you are too hungover, then you might start to revert back to how you were before and fall into the alcohol trap.
Alcohol will lower your energy levels and inspiration to achieve your goals, and if you enjoy a drink then try drinking once a week socially, and have a rest day after before venturing back into your dedicated routines.
The benefits of good quality sleep should not go unnoticed. Our body has an internal clock that produces chemicals that coincide with light (serotonin) and dark (melatonin). If we listen to our bodies during these cycles and sleep when we feel tired, then there are huge benefits. Early risers will fall asleep faster at night and early sleepers will wake earlier in the mornings.
It is all a cycle, and there is a higher chance of completing a healthy sleep cycle when we follow some simple rules, with experts promoting 7-9 hours of sleep per night for a healthy adult.
Benefits of early nights include:
Yes, sleep deprivation is also linked with positive personality characteristics which all can impact confidence and productivity (2).
If you studied hard at learning a new skill, good quality sleep will process and organize the information so it transfers from your short-term to long-term memory and you can move onto the next learning stage faster!
Want to be ready for your gym session tomorrow? Well, 7-9 hours of sleep has been shown to help with the changes in body composition such as decreased body fat percentage alongside aiding protein synthesis for increased muscle mass.
Sleep is a Stress Reducer
Regular sleeping patterns can regulate things such as mood and problem-solving skills. It heightens judgment and aids calmness under pressure.
There is more to early mornings than amazing-looking sunsets and the sounds of nature. Ever wondered how some people get so much done over the course of a day? Well if you asked them they would most likely point to early mornings as one of the keys to their success. Morning-type individuals report a more positive effect compared with night owls (3).
Benefits of early mornings include:
Positive Frame of Mind
leading to improved productivity throughout the day. There are fewer distractions in the early mornings, so you can get your mundane tasks done before the average person wakes up. You can also organize yourself without being distracted.
The most productive time in the day to exercise is in the mornings. This is because after we exercise we get an adrenaline boost that stays throughout the day. This is the most practical time to exercise as no one will be bothering you, and there is less chance to break your routine.
Looking Within and Being Thankful
This is a quiet time, giving you the opportunity to look within yourself and to be thankful for the things that matter to you, which goes a long way to producing strength of character.
Part of being manly is to have a routine that promotes a healthy approach to life. The benefits listed here are not to be overlooked and can dramatically affect how productive you are for all 24 hours of the day. It is a cycle that needs to be maintained.
Sometimes you will be feeling like you are having an off-day and you are demotivated.
When this happens always remember that through overcoming hard times we receive a release, and release is arguably the greatest pleasure available to man.
Look at challenges as something to overcome, and there to push through to become the man you want to be. If you leave them or push them aside you will fall downwards, and a manly man does not let that happen!
Our life on this planet is temporary, and it usually takes something extreme to remind us of this, like when somebody dies, gets sick, and so on. In these instances, the reason we feel a great and positive feeling to change ourselves is that in a flash the truth rushes over us and we are reminded that there is a better version of ourselves waiting for us to start working on.
That moment and the feelings that come with it will not last very long, but to stay motivated it is important to keep that realization with you and to understand that there is a better 'you' who can achieve many things with the right effort.
It takes an average of just over 2 months to create a new behavior pattern, so it is important that we understand how to push through tough days when nothing seems to be going right.
Things Noticed by People Which Make a Difference
- Arriving on time.
- Eye contact (50% when speaking and 70% when listening).
- Listen to people when they talk to you, focus on what they are saying and digest the info. At a later date during a conversation they will be surprised at how much you absorbed, which is a great trick to gain respect.
- Make sure your actions have good intentions behind them. People can sense this, and even if you are amazing at everything else, if your intentions are bad then it can put a negative influence on how you are perceived.
How to be More Manly in a Relationship?
For a relationship to work one part has to be the dominant part. If you are asking how to be more manly in a relationship, then maybe you have a woman with strong traits, and she is taking the dominant role, so you are naturally leaning towards your feminine side without realizing it.
In this case, if you suddenly start to practice being manly, this can cause conflict and needs to be approached with care.
In general, there are ways to be more manly in a relationship, which are:
- Embrace your authentic self and hone your skillset and find something you dedicate your time to.
- Lead the relationship, and be the emotional rock for her when she needs to vent, which will make your girlfriend feel safe in being venerable with you, so she can be comfortable and her authentic self around you.
- Be caring, romantic, and surprise her with things, like trips to places when you feel the time is right. This shows her you are thinking of her and taking part in the control of her happiness.
- This one works both ways. Show respect and do things when they make sense (not all the time). This could be as simple as washing-up plates if she has done the cooking (50/50), and to her, this shows you are being respectful, which matters, and you will be respected for it.
- In discussions keep a level head, use logic, and don't be swayed by her opinions unless they make legitimate sense.
Whatever trait you want to work on after reading this page on how to become more manly, make sure you have a genuine desire to do it. It is important that you set up the right frame of mind to truly go for it, and that you truly feel ready to work on yourself. Letting something foster inside for years and years, such as wanting to change something about yourself, is painful, however, so is starting something new and only half completing it, then falling backward, which can be doubly damaging.
When you are learning something new, remember to push through on hard days, as anything worth having is something that will be tested. It takes time to learn and adapt to something new, and it is common to feel that change will never happen. So keep at it, at and more at it, and just by doing that alone you will start to feel more manly and new doors in your life will open.
What is The Most Manly Thing to Do?
The manliest thing to do is to look deeply within yourself and to face your fears and get out there and start challenging them. This will involve something called exposure, where you will repeatedly go into your feared situations until you feel a 'release' from them.
Of course, some fear is rational and makes sense. We wouldn't be picking up a venomous snake, for example, as it could potentially bite us and put us to sleep. But the fears we know we can challenge in a healthy manner will help us grow as a person and allow us to overcome them and move on, these need to be addressed.
Fear pushes you off of the driver's seat into the back of the car, and if you fail to challenge it, then it can leave you with lifelong regrets, and as a man, you cannot let that happen! It will require the man in you to be able to understand your weaknesses and start challenging them.
It is important to note that many fears are something that you will be able to break through with one powerful step. These are the ones to focus on first, as they will have a knock-on effect for you to move onto other areas which may take more time to work through.
To put it simply - stop slowing your growth and take action to grow!
What Skills Should a Manly Man Have?
If you are looking to hone your manly skills and be more effective wherever you go, then some things to consider might be:
- Take a vacation in the Amazon rainforest and live with a tribe for a month
- Build a fire and find and chop the wood yourself
- Learn to bench and do proper pullups
- Get good with the barbecue
- Learn to perform CPR
- Change a tire and work around an engine
- Know how to wear a suit and to tie a tie
- Work on your handshake (firm)
- Work the garden and grow your own fruit and veg
- Pour a proper pint
- Play different card games (poker), etc
- At one time or another, some of these skills are bound to enter your life
Who is The Manliest Man Ever?
Without a shadow of a doubt the manliest man ever is the fictional cigar-smoking babe magnet, Duke Nukem. His sexy deep voice, politically incorrect views, lewd comments, and of course ability to slay alien-looking creatures have firmly cemented his place as the manliest man ever!
Jokes aside, there are many different traits of manly men, and one man cannot be named the manliest man ever, but 3 famous examples would be:
An action movie star, former governor of California, humble and full of heart and shows a dedication to conquer fears and raise limits constantly.
With alpha confidence and a prolific gaze which melted hearts all around the globe, he is driven and forward-thinking. He has shown no fear of directing some intelligently thought-out movies about protecting the venerable and speaking out on issues that plague our world.
A Boxing legend and a good family man, limitless in his career goals and helping provide for his fellow countrymen and women.
What do You Buy a Manly Man?
A few ideas of what to buy a manly man are:
- Survival Tool kit - Featuring an approved first aid kit and essential survival gear read for an apocalypse!
- RawChemistry Pheromone Cologne - Formulated to entice the opposite sex, it is also alcohol-free and full of sweet smells!
- Stanley Classic Flask 8oz - Easy to fit in the pocket and makes a bold statement when used.
- Viking Stainless Steel Skull Coffee Mug - For the Viking man in your life, this will be sure to get coffee thrown in daily.
- This Is a Manly Apron - This will ensure he will never forget who he is while cooking up the meal of your life!
Thank you for reading!